Happy Nurses Week. Now Let's Talk About the Things That's Actually Holding You Back.

By Heather Strand: Mindset Fitness + Self-Leadership Coach

Every May, the internet lights up for nurses.

Free coffee. Pizza parties. Treats. A week full of posts that say "nurses are heroes"— followed by 51 weeks of giving everything they have… often with very little given back.

And you deserve every bit of that appreciation. The work you do is real, it's hard, and it matters.

But this Nurses Week, I want to go a little deeper than a pizza party.

Because after years of coaching nurses, and living it myself, I've noticed a pattern that keeps showing up. In my clients. In my coworkers. And honestly? In me… Just last week.

It's called all-or-nothing thinking. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.

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Last Week. Not Five Years Ago. Last Week.

My mom was in the hospital. Then came the conversation nobody really prepares you for — she couldn't go back home. Which meant arranging for her to go to rehab, figuring out next steps for assisted living, and making decisions that were emotionally heavy and logistically overwhelming all at the same time.

Appointments. Meetings. Phone calls that led to more phone calls. Insurance questions. The kind of caregiving logistics that take up your calendar, your mental real estate, and honestly, your heart.

And instead of doing everything… I did the things that felt manageable.

I showed up to my part-time job. Made some of the phone calls. Handled what felt safe and contained.

And let my business fall completely behind.

That's still all-or-nothing thinking. It just looks more productive from the outside. I didn't freeze… I defaulted. I chose the easier pile and told myself I'd get to the rest when things calmed down.

When. When. When.

That's all-or-nothing thinking wearing a productivity costume. It sounds like waiting for the right moment. It feels like being responsible. But what it's actually doing is keeping you stuck in a loop of starting over instead of ever moving forward.

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Here's Why Nurses Are Especially Wired for This

All-or-nothing thinking makes complete sense for us, because we were trained for it.¹

In the ICU, there was no "kind of" doing the right thing. You either caught the subtle change in your patient's status or you didn't. You either followed the protocol or you didn't. Precision mattered. High stakes demanded it.

But here's what nobody told us in nursing school, orientation, or any CEU we ever sat

through:

**That same thinking that kept your patients safe is quietly working against you in your personal life.²

When all-or-nothing thinking shows up off the floor, it sounds like this:

• "I haven't worked out all week so I might as well not bother today." 

• "I fell off my routine so I have to start completely over." 

• "I'm too overwhelmed to do anything right now so I'll just wait."

And the waiting turns into freezing. And the freezing turns into procrastination. And the procrastination turns into shame. And the shame turns into another Nurses Week where you're being celebrated on the outside while quietly falling apart on the inside.

You're not alone in that. In 2024, 57% of nurses still reported feeling burned out in the past year.³ That number has improved, but it still means more than half the people reading this are running on fumes right now.

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So, What's the Antidote?

It's not a productivity hack. It's not a better planner.

It's learning to choose small and consistent over perfect and paralyzed:

• One boundary at the end of a shift instead of a complete life overhaul. 

• One honest conversation with a colleague instead of fixing the whole unit culture. 

• One ten-minute walk to your car in silence instead of a full self-care routine. 

• One deep breath before you clock in instead of waiting until you're not burned out anymore. 

• One moment of saying "that's enough for today" — and actually meaning it.

I have to remind myself of this constantly. Even now. Even as someone who coaches nurses through this exact pattern.

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This Nurses Week, I'm Not Here to Celebrate You With a Latte and a Graphic.

Here's what I believe with everything in me:

You were not wired to operate on empty and call it dedication. That's not God's design for you, and it's not what made you choose nursing in the first place.

You chose this work because you care deeply. And people who care deeply deserve to be led well — starting from the inside out.

I'm not here to celebrate you with a free latte and a graphic that says, "nurses rock."

I'm here to tell you the truth: You can't pour from an empty cup… and all-or-nothing thinking may be why it keeps running dry. 

Start small. Start today. Start with one thing.

That's enough. That has always been enough.

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If this resonated, I have something for you. Join me on June 3rd for a free masterclass where we take this conversation further — because naming the pattern is just the beginning.

REGISTER FOR FREE »

Lead Yourself First 🩺

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Footnotes

¹ Burns, D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. All-or-nothing thinking defined as a cognitive distortion in which personal qualities are evaluated in extreme, black-or-white categories — forming the foundation of perfectionism. Referenced via NP Reasoning, January 2025.

² Research published in Psychology Today (November 2023) found that when left unaddressed, all-or-nothing thinking is directly linked to burnout, depression, and cycles of extreme effort followed by complete avoidance. Read more

³ 2024 State of Nursing Survey, Nurse.org. Burnout rates among nurses, while improving from a high of 87% in 2021, still affect the majority of the nursing workforce. Read more

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Heather Strand | Mindset Fitness Coaching